As compulsively as I buy records, if vinyl copies of an album are prohibitively expensive, it’s often easier to pretend it just doesn’t exist. But when you’re dealing with a record as monumental as Converge’s Jane Doe, that ignorance is pretty hard to feign. It is a singular masterpiece in the world of heavy music, offering up a record that is superlative in every aspect—including asking price.

But my wife and I have been working our asses off lately, and we decided we deserved to give ourselves a bonus. The first thing I did was head to Discogs to see what legendary and outrageously priced record I might finally be able to afford. It wasn’t a hard decision to make. And even as much as I paid for it (not quite a hundred, but close enough to sting), it’s worth every penny.

I don’t have as personal an attachment to this record as most of its fans. It is one of the most frequently cited records in various friends’ personal top tens. For many, it served as a gateway into heavy and weird music. I had already been deep into punk and hardcore by the time tracks from this record were passed onto me from friends’ metalcore mix CDs alongside Norma Jean, As I Lay Dying, and Poison the Well. Even next to those monsters of the genre though, these songs felt eldritch and scary.

I don’t recall exactly when I finally gave the record a full listen (my guess is after Sunbather pulled me back into heavy music) but the prices made me shut off any excitement I had about the record.

Now that that’s a nonfactor though, I’m geeking out.

There’s not much I can say about this record that hasn’t already been said. It’s one of the most iconic albums in the genre—and tellingly, it seems to escape most of the blanket criticisms toward metalcore. Every facet of the record, from the lyrics to the riffs to the production to the artwork (done by vocalist Jacob Bannon and presented here in a lovely 12×12 booklet), is capital G Great. The record is a lesson in controlled chaos, combining dissonant guitars, punishing tempos, and harsh vocals in a way that is violent and frenzied without ever losing control.

Admittedly, it’s a little too overwhelming to grasp with a couple listens. Luckily, I’ve got the time to make up for ignoring it.