Elephant in the room: this is probably the biggest hole in my collection. I’m a huge fan of The Antlers, but my saying that has usually come with the caveat that I mean what they did after this record. I’ve listened to it, of course, and it’s been on my wishlist for over a decade, but as my tastes have gotten weirder and heavier, I’ve never pulled the trigger.

But sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do.

Hospice is, rightly so, an album that has been granted legendary status among the indie rock canon. It is a concept record that handles its narrative deftly enough that it never feels hamfisted: it’s a picture of a toxic relationship recontextualized as a codependent relationship between a caretaker and a chronically ill patient, which makes for some truly heartbreaking moments.

For all of its status as an essential record though, coming back to it from Burst Apart, I wasn’t as impressed. It struck me as a transitionary work between The Antlers’ origin as Peter Silberman’s lo-fi solo project and the more fleshed-out full band work I was more familiar with. And while there’s definitely a much heavier emphasis on the songwriting, the arrangements are hardly afterthoughts. The record exists in a lush soundscape that seems to transcend the wax it’e pressed into. Songs emerge from the fog of synthesizers, ambient guitars, and treated banjos like actors in a play stepping onto the stage to deliver a monologue.

And then, occasionally, there will be a burst of violence like a fight scene. Tracks like “Sylvia” and “Bear” switch between delicate indie pop and drum-heavy, full-blast catharsis, Silberman’s voice climbing to the top of his considerable range to be heard through the noise. These tracks are the most immediate standouts, but the record is just as captivating when it’s hushed. “Kettering” is as heart-wrenching a bit of exposition as anything Shakespeare wrote,

Lest you think my talk of hushed ambient soundscapes means this is an easy listen, think again. The softness of the atmospheres is frequently juxtaposed by noisy drones. Even the more accessible tracks like “Bear” are treated with a dizzying modulation that makes the catchiest moments  still a bit disquieting.

If we’re honest, my preference will probably always be for the indica-soaked otherworldliness of the records that followed (except the most recent. What’s with the earnest country songs, guys?). However, Hospice is a singular and devastating record, and its absence has been a palpable space on my shelf. It is a truly gorgeous record and one that should be regarded as a masterpiece of recorded music.